Had a very eventful weekend.
Emotions runs wild and my mental state was put to the test.
One big thing that I realized through this process was that, I was living as a background character of my own life for so long. I only came to realize this when i was forced to deal with others feelings and what they think of me rather than actualy living my life and owning my own experiences. I was in the middle of enjoying what was seems to be my childhood dream, but i was kinda letting others take that away from me by worrying about them instead.
I couldnt even dream of this moment years ago.
me going to gigs by myself and dancing in the crowd with my friends?
it sounds like a myth.
i used to feel so claustrauphobic in crowds that i would hyperventilate and panic, i never knew why, but now i realized that it was because i never belonged in the crowds that i used to put myself in. it feels foreign, jarring and unsafe, but the crowd that ive been putting myself in now? feels like home.
im super grateful for the people i have in my life now.
i couldn't have gotten through this weekend without them! yall know who you are <3
thank you.
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